Archive for September, 2019

IMG_0515[1531] September has been a strange kind of month and I am glad to say that it’s over. One way or another my anxiety levels have been super high, the little things have made it worse and generally speaking my mental health has been at a low point. I took to writing notes like the one to the left for myself as reminders to breathe and try to take away anything that was unnecessary for me to be struggling on mentally.

Worst of all is how my metal health affects my creativity. I have kept creating through drawing exercises on the whole and the avenues that they have veered me down but it has been a struggle to keep up and push forward. I am, it would seem, still learning to work with the ebb and flow of my mental state.

I worry about anything and everything when I dip into this state. It’s very unlike me and seems to be a learned process that I have developed as I have gotten older. It is hard to get out of when that spiral begins and I understand that people don’t ‘get’ what it can be like. Mention anxiety, stress and depression to people and you’ll often, even now when awareness is far better, get an eye roll and the opinion that we all have to deal with it.

Just on the bus the other day I heard two women talking about someone who had mentioned they had anxiety issues to one of them and their response was flippant as they bitched about the person and didn’t really understand what it can get like. This came at  time when I was having a particularly bad day with my own and I remember shrinking back down into my seat and attempting to calm my thumping heart as not to draw attention to my own issues.

Now that I am feeling somewhat recovered from my latest ‘epidsode’, not entirely recovers, but somewhat, I feel more able to think rationally about it all and contemplate how it came about last month. I find myself, as an artist wanting to delve into my mental health issues visually but the whole idea also scares me.

It occured to me yesterday that I could take some baby steps with this on a daily basis using my companion journal/sketchbook and my tentative curiosity to try inktober this month.

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‘Fusion’ – acrylic on canvas, 40.5 x 30.5 x 1.5cm

Shown here with a couple of household items for a visual representation of the scale of the painting, fusion is where colour, line and mark making come together to fizz and pop on the canvas.

The original painting is available for sale for £150 with free basic UK postage through Royal Mail or a courier for an additional fee. International postage will be charged on an individual basis. If you are local to me collection can also be arranged for free. Contact me through my email to buy or for more information: michelwatsonart@gmail.com

Various prints of this painting are also available through my Redbubble Store

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